Family history humor

I'm teaching a family history class tonight. It's called Jumpstarting your family history. I put together a page of humor in honor of my class.

GENEALOGY POX
WARNING: Very contagious to adults.
SYMPTOMS: Continual complaint as to need for names, dates and places. Patient has blank expression and is sometimes deaf to spouse and children. Has no taste for work of any kind except feverishly looking for records at libraries and courthouses. Has compulsion to write letters. Swears at mail carrier when s/he does not leave mail.
Frequents strange places such as cemeteries, ruins and remote, desolate country areas. Makes secret calls at night. Hides phone bills.
TREATMENT: There is no known cure. Medication is useless. Disease is not fatal, but gets progressively worse. Patient should attend genealogy workshops, subscribe to genealogical magazines, and be given a quiet corner in the house where s/he can be alone with his/her computer.
REMARKS: The unusual nature of this disease is.....the sicker the patient gets, the more s/he enjoys it!
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“I looked up my family tree and found out I was a sap!”
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At hand is a letter addressed to my name from a genealogy researcher who claims to have traced my family tree. He certainly knows how to get your attention. It begins:
"Your Majesty".
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"I'd rather be looking for dead people than have them looking for me!"
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“I've heard that if you help someone with their research, you will be admitted to genealogy heaven. May be the closest some people get.”
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Where's the PROfF: InSaniTy runS in mY fAmiLy
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In Salt Lake City, Utah everyone is into researching their family tree. Even the big department stores sell genealogy supplies. A newcomer to Salt Lake City, and a non-researcher, got a job as a clerk at one of the big department stores. She received her introduction to genealogy one day when a customer came into the store and asked " Where do I find the Family Group Sheets?" The new clerk, with a shocked look on her face, answered, " Family Group Sheets ? All we carry are the King, Queen, double and twin size sheets."
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